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The Fivepenny Piece Lyrics

Big Jim (John Meeks - Colin Radcliffe - Eddie Crotty)

Big Jim was a worm, was a great big worm, Was a great big, bright red, bloody red worm
Large and fat, and just like a picture, Crossed with an eel and a boa constrictor
Fed him on whiskey, which made him frisky, On pies and a pint or two
Big Jim was a worm, was a great big worm, Was a great big, beautiful, bloody red worm.

A famous Scottish Angling Club arranged to hold a match
(With) five pounds offered as the prize to him with the best catch.
Jock Thompson said, 'for catching fish, good bait is what you need'
And so he set to work at once big worms to try to breed.

He fed his pets on powdered milk, On baby food and whiskey,
And as the great day grew near, they grew quite fat and frisky.
His favorite worm he called Big Jim, He really was a picture,
You’d have thought he’d crossed a conga eel With a bloody boa constrictor.

The day arrived, the places drawn, and so the fishing started
It was a sin to puncture Jim and Jock was broken hearted.
But that five pounds must be won, he’d promised one to his daughter
And so the dirty deed was done And Jim thrown in the water.

Some caught roach and some caught bream, And some caught rainbow trout.
Some caught eels and one caught seals, but most of them caught nowt.
But Jock he waited patiently to give Jim chance to work
And in a while his float did sink and give the rod a jerk.

Well the fight went on for hours and hours Jock could’na quench his thirst
But Big Jim being the worm he were, that fish surrendered first.
And then the judge came running up and with him brought his scales,
He saw the fish, he said, ‘Chuck it back - We’re no accepting whales’!

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